My work representing divorcing clients started in 1984. By 1988 I added an important tool, attorney/psychologist team mediation. The intensity, creativity and transformative power of mediation fed my soul. The stress of family law litigation and mediation also gifted me a lifelong membership in the insomniac club. Now in the age of Trump, Brianna Taylor and Covid 19, … [Read more...] about Insomnia restores my connection to Restorative Justice
Blog Mediation Tips in Bay Area
“Mom and Dad, Thank You For How You Did Your Divorce.”
My adult son said this to me thirty years after his father and I were divorced. He went on to say, “I have strengths now that I don’t think I would have except for the way you and Dad did your divorce.” I was astonished when my son said this to me. Jim is now the father of four children and works with children and young adults as the director of a summer camp for … [Read more...] about “Mom and Dad, Thank You For How You Did Your Divorce.”
Peace from Rubble
Salaam. Shalom. Peace. Peace. Palestine. Israel. I would say it’s one of the oldest conflicts in history, but that’s far from true. Israel became a country shortly after World War II. In the history of civilization, this conflict is actually quite young. But the airtime this conflict takes up, as far as international affairs, is staggering and completely disproportionate to the … [Read more...] about Peace from Rubble
Framing The Divorce Process
You realize that the marriage is not working. For a long time now, you and your spouse have not been fulfilling each other's needs. You've grown apart. Maybe one or the other of you has looked outside the marriage for a satisfaction of needs, which has led to deterioration of trust. Layers of blame and … [Read more...] about Framing The Divorce Process
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in Mediation
Often lurking under the surface of what appears to be strictly legal or financial questions are issues that can be considerably more important than money to the people involved: questions of identity, of saving face, of fighting for one’s honor or one’s dignity, of finding one’s voice and one’s empowerment, of saying no to abuse, or neglect, or dishonesty, of holding onto one’s own sense of self, … [Read more...] about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in Mediation
Introducing Integrative Mediation When Assisted Reproductive Technology Goes Wrong
Family planning is way beyond what it once was - sex for reproductive purposes. Now, babies are being formed in test tubes and petri dishes in countries all around the world! What follows is an emerging area in the law - Assisted Reproductive Technology, or ART. As usual, the progress of society and the development of cultural trends are far ahead of the law in this specific arena. Said another … [Read more...] about Introducing Integrative Mediation When Assisted Reproductive Technology Goes Wrong
Creating a Parenting Plan Using Integrative Mediation
Using integrative mediation to create a parenting plan results in a workable plan that is in the best interest of the children. Both parents are more likely to comply with a parenting plan that they themselves created. Having a lawyer as a mediator ensures that the parents get information about legal issues that may be associated with parenting plans, such as whether each parent has the … [Read more...] about Creating a Parenting Plan Using Integrative Mediation
Five Things to Consider About Dating After Divorce
It may be you decided to get a divorce because you were in a marriage that had not been working well for some time and you could not see that it would ever get any better at meeting your needs. Or, you thought your marriage was good enough and that it would last into old age only to be faced with your life partner telling you they don’t feel the same and want a divorce. No matter what the … [Read more...] about Five Things to Consider About Dating After Divorce
Integrative Mediation: A Groundbreaking Approach to Divorce that Saves Couples Time, Money & Trauma
Divorce is never easy, but many divorcing couples are reducing the emotional trauma and financial burdens of splitting with an innovative approach to divorce settlement that addresses both the legal and emotional issues at the heart of the conflict. Unlike the traditional adversarial model of divorce, Integrative Mediation is non-adversarial and designed to resolve contentious issues and … [Read more...] about Integrative Mediation: A Groundbreaking Approach to Divorce that Saves Couples Time, Money & Trauma
Keep Your Conflict Demon-Free
Our minds are capable of many wonderful things, from language to love. Descartes went so far as to conclude that using our minds proves that we exist. But minds are tricky things and even the best ones are not perfect. Indeed, so widespread are many of the mind’s imperfections that psychologists have given them names. Things like “confirmation bias”—the tendency to give more weight to evidence … [Read more...] about Keep Your Conflict Demon-Free
THE IMPORTANCE OF THE LANGUAGE WE USE
How we talk to ourselves and how we talk to others has everything to do with attitude, frame of mind and ultimately our actions. In divorce if we think of ourselves as adversaries and use adversarial language, our frame of mind will be confrontational, adversarial and lead to an expectation of the worst rather than the best from the spouse we are engaged with in a dissolution of … [Read more...] about THE IMPORTANCE OF THE LANGUAGE WE USE
Full Disclosure in Integrative Mediation
Integrative mediation is a specialized form of divorce or separation mediation that involves two neutral third parties: a mental health professional and an attorney. With these two neutral professionals assisting a couple through the mediation process, a more comprehensive and meaningful resolution can often be reached. One of the main keys to a successful integrative mediation is the concept of … [Read more...] about Full Disclosure in Integrative Mediation